Nov 242014

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wanted to share thoughts around things I was thankful for, but wanted to give it a different twist. Most people share thoughts and ideas around wonderful things and people they are grateful for, however, some of my most grateful memories this year are not what I would have expected.

Let me begin with a story from just this past week.

We had an incident in our house where my son wiped out my husband’s iphone. You can only imagine the anger and unhappiness that my husband felt when he realized that all his contacts, apps, etc… were GONE! I know how it feels, I have been there. He chose some not so nice words to say in the heat of the moment and my son was devastated. When I went up into his bedroom to talk with him, he refused to acknowledge me. He hid under the bed and refused to speak to anyone. I went into his room looking to comfort him, and I was unable to do so. Here I was trying to be a “good mom” and be a loving shoulder to cry on and he didn’t want it. Why? My heart was breaking for him, because I knew he was feeling bad and wanted to stop the pain, but he didn’t want anything to do with me. All he wanted was his dad (who just claimed he wanted nothing to do with him) and refused to speak to anyone else.

Later the next day I met with a coach and we spoke about the event that occured. We took a deeper dive into what was really going on in our family relationships. Her guidance, was rather than trying to figure things out from the mind, dive into the heart. We began looking to understand how and why my son might have been feeling the way he was. Why was he looking to use my husbands iphone? What stories was he potentially creating in his head about the entire situation? What did he really want? What was his heart feeling and needing?

I realized that when I walked into his room, I was in my head and not my heart. I walked in with an agenda of wanting to comfort and console him, but what he really wanted was to be loved and accepted for who he is, my son, a child of God. Me coming into his room in my head space didn’t feel real and authentic to him at all. When I was in the moment, I couldn’t see it, I thought I was being who I needed to be, but now I see. This evening before bedtime, I shifted my energy to be more heart centered than mind centered and he allowed me into his loving presence. I was able to love him and snuggle with him where he could feel my love. What a precious GIFT he is to me and an amazing lesson learned from this not so happy experience. Before today, I never would have thought to think about the unexpected things that happen as gifts, but now that I am awake and can totally see, I can embrace the lessons to be learned from the experiences. I listed below the top 10 that came to mind this morning, but I am sure there are many more of these unexpected.

Top 10 Unexpected Things I am Grateful for (In no particular order)

  1. My son stealing my ipad and taking it to school with him
  2. My mom leaving the dinner table during the middle of my 5 year old son’s birthday
  3. Completely bombing an audition for a choir
  4. Leaving my wallet at starbucks for someone else to steal and the use my debit card to purchase “clash of clan” in app purchases
  5. My dad sending me an email resigning from being my sons confirmation sponsor
  6. Outsourcing some activities and not receiving deliverables on time (frustrating)
  7. My best friend telling me she was no longer going on trip with me (and that I should be happy for her)
  8. A few financial blunders; finding ourselves in debt that we never realized
  9. My son messing up my husband’s iphone (and him not wanting any comfort from me)
  10. And yes, gaining a few extra pounds this year (there are lessons to be learned here as well)

I will continue to cherish the times where my children push my buttons, a failure or setback occurs, or something unexpected happens. These are truly gifts from God. As I reflect to look at my top 10 list of Unexpected Things I am Grateful for, I am see how challenges and failures can really become some of the best lessons learned in life. However, I must take the time to be awake and process my feelings in the moment and then begin to embrace life’s many beautiful lessons. These are not things that I would ever wish for myself or for anyone, but am grateful that God knew what my heart and soul needed. I have certainly learned valuable life lessons in each and every “unexpected gift”.

I encourage you to feel into the “Unexpected Things” you are grateful for this year.

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